And, darn it all I don’t own Gundam Wing OR Slayers. They belong to..um…Bandai, Sunrise, TV Tokyo, Software Sculptors (I think)…and probably more. Definitely more.

A terrible tragedy took place yesterday at the Gundam L2 theater. It involved an innocent man named Duo, a hero named Heero, and the maybe-not-so-innocent Xelloss. It began when Xelloss Metallium was supposedly bending over to pick up a shiny, new penny at the top of a staircase. There was flexion in one of his legs as he was bending over. An unsuspecting Duo Maxwell was talking excitedly to his friend Heero Yuy as they left the isle and headed for the staircase down. Poor Duo was not watching where he was going and tripped over Xelloss’s leg. He flew down the staircase head-first, but had enough sense to tuck and roll to prevent breaking his neck. When he got to the bottom of the dark, unlit staircase, (a safety hazard on the part of the movie theater) Duo was obviously hurt. Heero provided medical care on the spot. He laid Duo out and told him not to move. He had a compound fracture in his right radius , a strained right hamstring, a fractured left fibula and had strained his left quadriceps. Heero surrounded Duo’s leg completely with ice and told Xelloss to get help. After twenty minutes, no help had arrived so Heero had to go himself. He got Duo to say his multiplication tables to prevent him from going into shock and/or losing consciousness.

Follow-up

Duo’s friend, a physical therapist named Wufei, has him doing isotonic and isokinetic exercises. After only two months, he had Duo doing flexion and extension in his in his right arm and both his legs. He was mostly doing leg presses, making his quadriceps the muscle most involved and the hamstrings the contralateral muscles.

Meanwhile, Xelloss is yet to be found as Heero makes regular visits to Duo in his hospital room. Also, Wufei is offering a $50 reward for information on Xelloss to serve out justice to the responsible party. Heero is quoted as saying , “Omae o korosu”, which translated means something like “I’m going to kill you”, or “You are going to die!” If you can help, call Heero at 770-822-6513. (However, since Heero’s intentions are obvious, you may end up being a party to pre-meditated homicide.)